Now take off those fake sunglasses and look at me.’ ‘How did you know they were fake?’ she asks curiously, momentarily diverted. ‘They’re really good quality fakes! I couldn’t tell.’ ‘I know they’re fakes because you’re wearing them.’ ‘And I have a tendency to gravitate toward fakes,’ she replies, her voice shaking a little, glasses still firmly in place. ‘I realize that now.

I’m logical and practical. There isn’t a single creative bone in my body!

Had I gone through two heartbreaks to end up with this? This was the hero of the movie of my life? Because, hello, I've grown up thinking I'm starring in DDLJ. Or Titanic. Or at least Bride and Prejudice . And all the time it's actually been Dunston Checks In.

He shook his head at me. 'You were always scatterbrained,' he said. 'Zoravar was always the sensible one.' We both turned to look at sensible Zoravar who was digging into his plaster with the back of a teaspoon, his eyes closed in ecstasy.